Originally published at Words by Maria Catt
I have a real problem with coincidences. There are so many moments in my life where I want to announce to the universe, “OK you don’t have to lay it on so THICK, back off.”
Last Friday morning was one such moment. I was at work. A gay boy I work with was talking about his genderqueer friend, female, who just a little over two months ago was raped. He was saying they are transitioning to using “he” and identifying as a guy, and he thinks their emotional instability over the years was because of this fundamental mismatch with not being seen as male.
He says this, and I look down at my hands. I don’t talk about transition stuff in my day to day life. Because I’ve only had one person who didn’t experience dysphoria actually listen to what I was saying. The people who haven’t experienced dysphoria think they are hearing me, and then they say a bunch of condescending bullshit. This is why I don’t hang out with people who identify as trans allies. When someone says they are “committed to social justice” I have to immediately get away from them- I’ve just had to be the Person They Help too many times to be around that story.